Building Relationships By Networking

By Greg Kalkwarf

A general perception is that Type A personalities are ambitious and strong networkers. That may or may not be accurate. Even those who are extremely outgoing can sometimes struggle with attending a mixer, meet-and-greet, or reception.

It can be a challenge to introduce yourself or speak to strangers, but to advance in your career, it is important to develop a network of contacts, including current clients, referral sources, and prospects. By focusing on building relationships that help you both personally and professionally, you can take away the discomfort of doing something new or scary. As tough as it may be, at some point you just have to grin, and bear it.

Be Sincere

People can see through deception. As you meet people, give them your undivided attention, if only for a few minutes. Instead of thinking about what you will say next, listen for things you have in common, ways that you might be able to help someone, or just empathize.

Some of the best sales people in professional services are those who are simply sincere. They do not need fancy words or tricks to sell; they listen, hear problems, and offer solutions in a sincere fashion. Do the same as you network.

Everyone is a Friend

Whether you initially think so or not, everyone has the potential to become a part of your network. While a CPA might think a network should include only controllers and CFOs, other individuals might help you learn more about a prospect.

The HR director, the marketing staff, even the construction workers in the field can provide you insight to a company and how it operates.

As you learn about the other individual, be willing to offer a little bit about yourself. If someone asks you, “What’s new?” mention something new about yourself such as: “I am training for a marathon,” “My wife and I just had our first child,” “Our company just made an acquisition.” By mentioning a specific item, you extend your friendship and likely will start a solid conversation.

Ask Questions

The Dale Carnegie Institute teaches participants how to start a dialogue using conversation stacks. Using this visualization technique, you will make a great impression immediately by starting conversations with confidence, ease, and honesty.

A conversation stack works by visualizing an outlandish picture in your head, with the key objects representing a question you might ask. For example, visualize a huge semi-truck with a big name plate on the side of its trailer. On top of the semi is a two-story house with a bright red door. In a second-story window of the house is an eight-year-old boy with crazy, curly hair. In his hand, he is holding a dollar bill. Even weirder, a plane is landing on the roof of the house, but instead of propellers, the plane has golf clubs.

Incredibly outlandish? Absolutely, but the conversation stack is designed to help you remember these questions you might ask as an ice breaker:

•  What is your name (represented by the big name plate on the semi)?

•  Where are you from or where do you live (represented by the house with a bright red door)?

•  Do you have any family (represented by the eight-year-old boy in the second-story window)?

•  What is your job/how did you get started in your job (represented by the dollar bill in the boy’s hand)?

•  Do you travel (represented by the airplane)?

•  What do you do for fun or in your leisure time (represented by the golf clubs instead of propellers)?

The point of the conversation stack is not to serve as an “agenda” through which you quickly get answers so you can move to the next question. Its objective is to provide a starting point from which you can ask questions and provide sincere answers. This helps to establish trust with the other individual. Once the dialogue is going smoothly, let the conversation roll.

Reach Out

Many moons ago, a national telephone company used the slogan, “Reach out and touch someone.” It still applies today. Let’s face it—it’s a challenge when you are among strangers in a room or at a banquet table to be the first to speak up. Break the silence. Use the conversation stack to get things started.

Introduce People in Your Network

Helping others network will eventually come back to help you. Take advantage by making introductions of the people in your network who you think might benefit by meeting.

If you have not yet established an account with LinkedIn.com or other professional networking Web sites, now is the time to do so. You can use these sites to see who knows whom, look for a person you want to meet, and see if someone you already know has a connection to that individual.

If you listen carefully to the other person, you should understand enough about him or her and his or her business to know who in your current network might be able to help the individual meet his or her goals. Arrange a breakfast, send an e-mail, or make a phone call to connect individuals. They likely will be grateful, you will look like a hero, and that will help you down the road.

Think Long-Term

Except for Hollywood celebrities, few people fly to Las Vegas the night they meet someone and get married.

In the same way, few business relationships lead to immediate benefit for either party. Instead, think long-term, continue to learn about the other person and his or her business, and look for ways to assist.

Most importantly, implement a system to follow up with specific individuals in a timely fashion. Whether on a PDA or a paper day planner, use your calendar to plan specific follow up. It might be a birthday card, an invitation to an upcoming event, or simply a phone call to check in, but do something to stay in touch.

In addition to maximizing billable hours, it can be challenging to squeeze in time to build your network. Use these tips to increase your success in the time you have available, and utilize your network to develop long-term relationships that lead to successes for you both personally and professionally.

Greg Kalkwarf is a sales and marketing specialist with BKD LLP, Denver. Contact him at gkalkwarf@bkd.com.

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